Chris Maloney was consistently the most popular X-Factor contestant for the first seven weeks of the live show, as voted for by the public. He couldn't half belt them out, launching crushing orbital rods of cruise-liner balladry right every Saturday night.
Technically allright, musically not my thing at all. Alright, I wanted to go easy on him, so let's just say I thought he was terrible and move on.
Sorry, no, I can't move on. His music is exactly the sort of emotionless melange of schmalz I dislike intensely and it was on prime-time television. All of this makes me inclined to thumb my nose at mainstream culture and in my darker moments discard it utterly.
He wasn't the kind of act the X-Factor has a good track record of launching either. What the poor chap was doing in front of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the first place is anyone's guess.
And still, despite all of this, the public voted for him.
We not have to persuade people who like this man and voted for his laser-eyed power ballads (watch the whole of the video and you'll know what I mean) to support our campaigns. Actually, that's not enough, we have to empathize with them too.
[sound of gauntlet being thrown down]