Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Video of the week: Candlemass - Bewitched

Much thanks to the wonderful Map of Metal for introducing me to this marvelous track from the late 80's by Swedish doom metal act Candlemass.

Three reasons Bewitched demands listening.

1. Singer Messiah Marcolin's demonic choirboy voice has to heard to be believed.

2.  That riff.

3. It actually starts with Handel's Dead March done in the metal style.

3. This video by Jonas Akerlund (of Smack My B**tch Up notoriety) which walks the line between complete hokum and even more utter hokum.

Let me break it down for you:

0:00 - It's the metal re-enactment of the Monty Python Undertaker's sketch.

0:30 - Riff!

1:25 - Wait. Who left the dry ice in that coffin!

1:30 - Woah! Mad monk's just leapt out of a coffin!

2:00 - First appearance of the Messiah Marcolin front-crawl-head-bang dance! Yeah!

2.45 - MM starts hypnotizing metal fans with his sweet, sweet singing. And his luxurious mane of hair. #envy

3.00 -  You are beee-weeeeeeee-ttched!

3.10 - Oh. MM appears to have met a woman. She's dressed very sensibly for the snow in a green parka with her hood up.

3.50 - MM turns the full force of his vocal power on her. She sensibly flees before the onslaught and the wild, wild overacting that accompanies it...

4.10 - ... but she is eventually, yep, you guessed it - beee-weeeeeeee-ttched!

4.25 - MM has a whole army of beee-weeeeeeee-ttched metalhead zombies

4.45 - Guitarist takes a solo while MM alternatively strokes and shoves his denim clad minions.

5.15 - Still soloing, still shoving

5.30 - Uh-huh - still soloing

5.45 - Riff!

5.50 - Everyone does the Messiah Marcolin front-crawl-head-bang dance! Yeah! 

6.00 - Close up on stomping Swedish feet #vintageconverseenvy

6.45 - Headbanging around the coffin is the new All Around My Hat.

7.10 - You are beee-weeeeeeee-ttched!

7.15 - Back in your coffin, Marcolin!

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