Having only two weeks to organise our Escape The Cheese alternative Valentine's fundraiser, we went in house for our spoken word.
For the first time ever in thirty six years of existence, I performed live last Friday.
I recited the following little number unaccompanied but I can't help feeling that somewhere in here there's a Flanders & Swann or Fry & Laurie number waiting to get out.
And yeah, I didn't invent the idea of Occupy Valentine's. Better and brighter minds have gone before...
Let's Occupy Valentine's
Let's occupy Valentine's,
And set up camp in Clinton's,
Liberate the hearts and flowers,
And set free all the kittens,
For what good is a day, packed full of cliche,
To single, couple or beast?
You pay to express yourself,
Mostly just stress yourself,
It's the wafer-thin mint at the feast!
O! Let's occupy Valentine's
It's really rather stupid
Remember we're the 99
And all gang up on Cupid
For that cherubic kid, is a vampire squid,
Wrapped round the heart of romance!
Don't do things the clone way
Do Valentine's your way
Like a Strictly Come Dancing Show Dance!
So we'll occupy Valentine's,
We'll change that paradigm,
From compulsory kitsch,
Away we shall switch,
One Feb 14th at a time!