Video of the week: Coil - Windowpane

Overlooked indie-dance classic, probably because it was made by Coil, who seem to have spent most of the 80's scaring people with their industrial-noise-magick-thing, before they did this.

Peter Christopherson (director and Coil member) we salute you.

Video of the week - Professor Elemental: Fighting Trousers

I'm not sure about the chap-hop micro-phenomenon as a whole - I feel a whole 'nother post coming on about it for the New Year - but this track from Professor Elemental is a rather excellent, very English battle rhyme with some rather marvellous cosplay in the video.

Also: first citation of Peter Duncan in rap? 

Hear Magpiemoth read Christmastery and more!

You can hear me read Christmastery - my seasonal poem for 2012 - alongside other Christmas treats on the Bibby Factors Christmas compilation.

Many thanks to Adam Ings, who compiles a set of Christmas tracks every year and then makes them available on Soundcloud

Other than my own contribution, my other three favourite tracks are:

Drivin' Home For Christmas (In My Van) by Nathan's Belly - A sweary Baby Bird take on the Chris Rea ... er ... classic.
Rock 'n' Roll Santa by Lindsey Dupler & Adam Ings (feat Viola) - Exactly what it says on the (shortbread) tin
Cheryl The Mince Pie by Ruth Baker -  If Peaches did a Christmas record it would probaby sound like this.
 

Christmas messages

Gin & Flamingoes present Christmastery - final version

For the second year running, I've been working on a spoken word piece for the Bibby Factors Christmas compilation. Here's a final version.

Any resemblance to a certain best-seller is entirely intentional.

“It is time” he says “It is time” says he

As the clock strikes twelve on Christmas eve

“Sign this contract and enter my dark yet glamourous world of X-M-A-S”

“And holy crap!” thinks she for the twenty-fourth time

That night; struck dumb by his ridiculous handsomeness (insert four repetitive paragraphs here)

She signs in golden, glittery ink, and that's that.

“Now”, he says, “Now” says he

“Here are the Rules you must follow for me.

Be of good cheer from dusk till dawn

Have a Santa Stop sign on your lawn

Never refuse a mince pie

Obey Christmas laws with a twinkle in your eye.”

“Behold my room of special toys.

For nice AND naughty girls and boys.

Come my love! It would seem rather timid,

To make the Dr Who Christmas Special your hard limit.

And there may be times you cannot go out

Until you've partaken of the Christmas sprout.”

Though the millionaire toy-maker acted so grim

- in his red woolly jumper with festive trim -

Oh my, our heroine was drawn to him

Isn't he Byronic, dontcha think?

With his glower and power and Christmas kink?

She had realised deep in her medulla oblongata

That these festive fetishes were his desiderata

Her inner goddess saw it as a good sign

That his favourite tune was Mistletoe and Wine

As Foucault The Red Nosed Reindeer played

They danced until the Eve became Christmas Day

But as Yule went on she regretted her decision

His baubled palace seemed more like a prison

She realised her character was badly drawn

And had fallen from fanfic into supermarket porn

And he: more arsey than Darcy; from that voice

Issued endless demands that denied her Christmas choice.

On and on he went, sternly.

Every festive detail spelt out, eternally

“Stuff. The. Turkey.

It's in the contract.

Watch. The. Queens. Speech.

It's in the contract.

Lose. To. Me. At. Scrabble.

It's in the contract.

Deck.The.Halls.

It's in the contract.

Drink. The. Sherry

It's in the contract.

Morecambe. And. Wise.

It's in the contract

Flambe. The. Figgy. Pudding.

It's in the contract.

Pull. The. Cracker.

It's in the contract.

Read. The. Joke

It's in the contract.

Laugh. (Ha. Ha. Ha).

It's in the contract.

Eat. The. Sprouts.

It's in the contract.”

With chains of tinsel and of paper

She bound him with the product of her own labour

So that when he woke upon Boxing Day

She fixed him with a smile and a spoon to say

“Eat. The. Sprouts.

It's in the contract.

“Eat. The. Sprouts.

It's in the contract.”

Video of the week - Japan: Life In Tokyo (extended disco mix)

I like to think of this song - this aesthetic - as the point at which New Romantic was born.  And I - unironically, you understand - love the dandy look David Sylvain's rocking here. I think it's great that he and the rest of the band can be presenting a very different masculine image than the usual.

The CAPSLOCK King

The Capslock King is shouting again 
With love, with joy, with mild exasperation 
At the life he leads 
Strange the lack of punctuation 
As he reports, exhorts, confuddles the meaning of LOL 
Exhales for pause 
THEN HOLLERS

NB - Some people I know do status updates in caps ironically, as an intentional stylistic tic. Relax, this is not about you.